Daily Show correspondent Michael Che tries to find a safe place to report from.
on a scale from Matilda to Carrie how well do you handle having telekinesis and terrible parents
there’s a comic book store in my town that gives ladies a 10% discount and the people who work there are really friendly so lots of ladies show up to hang out and buy comics and one time i was looking through some new releases and this guy walked in, saw all the ladies, did a double take, and said really loudly and condescendingly, ‘there sure are a lot of girls in here for a comic store!’ and laughed but no one else laughed with him and it was glorious
PREHISTORIC SHARK: MEGALODON
Megalodon is an extinct species of shark that lived 1.5 million years ago and as you can probably tell from the above pictures it was HUGE, here are some few facts
- It’s teeth were over 7 inches long
- It’s bite can deliver from 10.2-18.6 tons of force, enough to crush a prehistoric whale’s skull like a grape
- It feasted on prehistoric whales, dolphins, squids, fish, and even giant turtles
- It’s fossils have been found all over the world
- No one knows why it went extinct
because those motherfuckers were scary as fuck and god said no that’s why
my friend’s really into sharks and she told me that she was watching a documentary that said they might not actually be extinct
i’m not afraid of water but that thought is enough to make me afraid of water
i mean the ocean is insanely huge, it wouldn’t surprise me if theres still some kickin aroun somewhere.
Can anyone else literally not picture something this big? Like that dude fitting into its mouth standing up: what the actual fuck.
So it’s my birthday and I’m opening gifts. I open the wrapped box from my uncle.
I open the box, and find a $50 gift card, yes? But wait, there’s Styrofoam. There’s more.
Then I remove the Styrofoam…
A FUCKING LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
mY UNCLE GOT ME A LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
bEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER
he then later gave me the legs.
LEGO LEGOLAS’ LEGO LEGS
Are you Luna Lovegood
i never really liked
until i found out
what it tastes like
when you write it in frosting
on top of a cake
I lost it at the end.
Okay, I had to check out the Van Eyck thing. I was a bit in denial because, come on, every single person can’t look like President Putin!
There are no words to describe how wrong I was.